I've gone Bruce Willis
I don't think that I've ever kept the same hair style for longer than a few months...I don't know if I change my hair so often out of boredom or laziness. Either way, I like the change; it's refreshing.
Here's the thing, like the majority of the male population currently living on earth: I'm balding.
Damn it to hell.
Doctors say that male pattern baldness is hereditary and that it originates from your Mothers Father...BS.
If my particular "pattern" of baldness derives from anything or anyone it would have to be from my own father...I know this because I have the same funny looking continent-shaped bald spot that is slowly spreading across the crown of my head as well as the widows peaks that are steadily reaching further and further to the back of my head - exactly like my Dad's.
FYI - I don't really blame you Dad...I blame Adam for eating that damned apple.
For surely, one of the truths that Adam's eyes must have been opened to after he ate of the Fruit of the Knowledge of Good and Evil; must have been the fact that his hair was falling out at a rapid rate. Baldness equals Evil. IMHO.
E-vil, like the Fru-its of the De-vil.
Actually, I blame Eve.
Since I don't fancy myself a "comb over" type of fella; I'm happy to say that I've embraced the Bruce Willis Within and am fully comfortable with shaving the hair that is left until only a thin stubble remains.
Of course, to pull this look off I have to scowl constantly and scrunch my eyebrows together like I'm debating between punching you in the teeth after quipping with a smart-ass remark about seeing the dentist - or - jumping from a highrise building with nothing but a firehose to break my fall or pull me crashing through an office window a few floors from the roof I've just jumped from to avoid a heinous explosion. Wow! What an exciting hair cut!
Yippy Ki Yay Mother F(bleep)ker! (Sorry Mom)
I can’t help feeling that this change is for the better since I’ve received several compliments from my wife, workmates and pets…yes, they like it; as well as a comparison to one of the most famous of all head-shavers – David Beckham.
A special thanks now goes out to Annmarie for that…my ego is now super-inflated and I walk with a little bounce in my step, thank you, I’m thinking about getting back into Soccer since you said that…gotta warn you though, it probably won’t happen.
I might go so far as to say that Brad Pitt may look as good with his head shaved as I do, but…since Brad Pitt smells like a trash can (it’s true) and I smell like a fresh breeze blowing over the Old Spice factory…I’m not gonna say that.
That feels good...I officially have something that Brad Pitt does not…olfactory senses that tell me when I don’t smell too good.
Me: 1
Brad Pitt: 0 
That being said; I'm quite happy with my new look and hope that I'm not too lazy to shave my pate on a regular basis in order to keep this look fresh.
Now if I could just work this belly off and have a six pack instead of a pony keg.
Maybe the new hair cut will inspire other changes...maybe not, probably not.
We'll see.
Here's the thing, like the majority of the male population currently living on earth: I'm balding.
Damn it to hell.
Doctors say that male pattern baldness is hereditary and that it originates from your Mothers Father...BS.
If my particular "pattern" of baldness derives from anything or anyone it would have to be from my own father...I know this because I have the same funny looking continent-shaped bald spot that is slowly spreading across the crown of my head as well as the widows peaks that are steadily reaching further and further to the back of my head - exactly like my Dad's.
FYI - I don't really blame you Dad...I blame Adam for eating that damned apple.
For surely, one of the truths that Adam's eyes must have been opened to after he ate of the Fruit of the Knowledge of Good and Evil; must have been the fact that his hair was falling out at a rapid rate. Baldness equals Evil. IMHO.
E-vil, like the Fru-its of the De-vil.
Actually, I blame Eve.
Since I don't fancy myself a "comb over" type of fella; I'm happy to say that I've embraced the Bruce Willis Within and am fully comfortable with shaving the hair that is left until only a thin stubble remains.
Of course, to pull this look off I have to scowl constantly and scrunch my eyebrows together like I'm debating between punching you in the teeth after quipping with a smart-ass remark about seeing the dentist - or - jumping from a highrise building with nothing but a firehose to break my fall or pull me crashing through an office window a few floors from the roof I've just jumped from to avoid a heinous explosion. Wow! What an exciting hair cut!
Yippy Ki Yay Mother F(bleep)ker! (Sorry Mom)
I can’t help feeling that this change is for the better since I’ve received several compliments from my wife, workmates and pets…yes, they like it; as well as a comparison to one of the most famous of all head-shavers – David Beckham.
A special thanks now goes out to Annmarie for that…my ego is now super-inflated and I walk with a little bounce in my step, thank you, I’m thinking about getting back into Soccer since you said that…gotta warn you though, it probably won’t happen.
I might go so far as to say that Brad Pitt may look as good with his head shaved as I do, but…since Brad Pitt smells like a trash can (it’s true) and I smell like a fresh breeze blowing over the Old Spice factory…I’m not gonna say that.
That feels good...I officially have something that Brad Pitt does not…olfactory senses that tell me when I don’t smell too good.
Me: 1
Brad Pitt: 0
That being said; I'm quite happy with my new look and hope that I'm not too lazy to shave my pate on a regular basis in order to keep this look fresh.
Now if I could just work this belly off and have a six pack instead of a pony keg.
Maybe the new hair cut will inspire other changes...maybe not, probably not.
We'll see.
posted by Benji at 7:35 AM
7 Comments:
you are a SEXY BITCH!!!
Hey Ben! I found your blog. Glad you are enjoying "Map of Bones". Rollins is a good author. :)
BTW, shaved/bald is soooo much sexier and better than a "comb over". AACK!!!!!! Those should be forbidden!!!!! LOL!
See you at the Clive Cussler board.
told ya so
-vanessa
If my part creeps down my head another quarter-inch or so, I might need to borrow your clippers.
It could be worse, you could have started balding from the back of your head. My dad started balding like that when he was in his twenties, and though he calls it his "solar panel", nothing could make it seem even remotely cool.
You know, I wasn't even aware that you COULD do a comb-over if you bald from the front backwards. I guess it would have to be a comb-forward... Ha! Good mental image.
My husband has been balding since the womb, and he's been using a "two" setting on his buzzer for a while, and recently switched to a "one". Though I'm disappointed I won't get to do any of the fun blending anymore, I really love the shorter look. Congratulations on your first step toward acceptance, and incredible head sunburns.
Gasp! I never knew Brad Pitt could look so unattractive. How sad. That awful picture of Brad was posted so you would look better, wasn't it? It worked.
I'm with ya dude... if I ever start losing my locks, i'm shaving it down too but keepin the goatee... then i can look like a real bad ass...
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